Friday, August 24, 2012

The Power of Resistence



You know when you hear something, and then you can't un-hear it? It sticks in your brain and you keep coming back to it? I'm going through that right now because I just found out that my downstairs neighbor has 5 kittens. Kittens! Who doesn't like kittens? I love kittens. I've had my cat since he was just a little bigger than kitten-ish and I certainly remember Jamie's cat Jinx as a kitten. And then I though, I wonder if she'd let me see them?

But then I remembered the power of kittens. They draw you in. You want to keep them! And that wouldn't be super smart for me right now. So I'm going to resist asking or seeing the kittens, because I know I won't be able to resist the actual kittens.

Besides I have my own *big* kitten, who never really grew up.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Journal Writing Shifts



For the past several years, I've been very consistent in my journal writing. I like the same kind of journal, I prepared it in the same way, wrote on the same day, week after week after week. I've notice recently I've resisted journal writing. It goes on the to do list and then it doesn't get done. This felt really weird because I quite enjoy journal writing and would even go as far to say that I get a little grumpy if I don't do it (although that can shift if from the 'want to do' to 'should do' kind of 'to do').

Seeing that I kept butting up on this resistance, I realized I needed to change something. I'm not a fan of change. But I wanted to me more of a fan of getting back to journalling and therefore di something that felt quite drastic. I ripped out the remaining blank pages of my journal, scavenged my stationary supplies & recycling, and threw together a new one.

I did this very intuitively, and pretty messily. It may fall apart in a week, who knows, but I did it. And I wrote in it immediately afterwards when I took myself to the coffee shop. Somewhere in there I realized that my old journal, as much as I loved it (and you can see a pic of it here from just last week), it was too heavy. Too heavy to carry around, physically and generally, and so I stopped writing. For me the point of having a journal is to write. As much as I love having a big one, if it's doesn't meet it's purpose and it doesn't work (that's design rule #1 btw). And now it works.

It's not pretty, it may not be durable, I have no idea how long it will last, but it got me back to writing in it. And that is the point of a journal for me. To journal in it. That was worth shifting for.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

One Rock Does Not Have To Crumble the Whole Plan

Link

Twice in the past few days I've fallen off pattern or plans. I'm a pattern & planning freak so that can, or I'll correct myself and could have, but doesn't have to mess up all plans ever!

The first shift was when my *plans* effected my *pattern*. Last week I shared about getting back to reading blogs, and in doing so I ended up molding it into the daily fold of my life. Then yesterday I had something going on during the time in which I'd read them ( I totally skipped MPs, I'll admit it). Harmph. I didn't like this, but I knew I could read them when I got home or start again the next day, promissing myself not to FREAK OUT if it was overwhelming. I'm hoping when I start to dive through those 63 posts I still feel that way.

The second shift was when last week I decided to take another stab at what I coined "The Great Supernatural Summer Rewatch" *. I've attempted this every summer since 2009 to varying degrees of success. The show has a lot of layers to it and can be very self-referential, so that along with it have some very long-arcs to it can make it very enjoyable to rewatch. Last year I did make it through all the seasons, and this year I want to do that again. I tried earlier this summer but then faltered and almost decided to give it up. But, then I noticed it was starting a bit later this year and did the math which would give me a week to watch a season starting last week. So I dove in with Season 1 (of 7!) last week, and planned to finish by Sunday. I didn't quite make that, but I did finish up Season 2. I know it's crazy ambitious to try and get through it all, but I have a good feeling about it and am going to give it a go, even though I've already fumbled through a few steps.

So, rocky start(s) don't necessarily lead to everything tumbling down. I could have given up, I could have threw the rock and got mad, but instead I think I'll just say "Hey, look at that rock! I got by it and I'm still on my way". At least least that's how I'm feeling today

* Supernatural is a TV show starring Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles as brothers who are hunters fighting the supernatural, and I chat a lot about it with my sister Suzie over at Hexed. You can see my updates on "The Great Supernatural Summer Rewatch" on GetGlue.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Finding New Rhythms



I was all excited about the new schedule/rhythm I had found for doing my Morning Pages* and reading my Google Reader and I was so excited about it. And then on the second day of that, I without even thinking about it changed my pattern and went out for coffee to do my MPs. Yep. But it's was okay because my reading was here to enjoy when I came home (even if there was no tea in the mug because... the mug was still at the coffee shop and long since drained!).

I rolled with it (not something I'm terrible good at) and it was good to chill out for coffee for a bit. I wish I would remember not to pick garbage day to go, which I often seem to pick, because it's a bit less of a 'lovely little stroll' when walking by the picked up bins. But hey, I'm very thankful that we have garbage pick up so I try to do my best to zen-out and let it be. Things might have turned out a bit different, and unexpected, and unintentional, but it would be okay.

* I like to call my Morning Pages "MPs", because, you know, the world needs more acronyms. And if you are unfamiliar with Morning Pages, it's a practice from the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. My sister Jamie has shared about developing them as a practice here.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Back to Blog Reading



Yesterday I shared that I was getting back to reading my Google Reader after a huge clean-up (both paring down & building up), and I was very curious to see if after 1 day if the results of new entries to enjoy were overwhelming.

Why I had to go to 'overwhelm' first is kind of telling, eh?

Guess what? It wasn't overwhelming! There were 10 lovely posts to enjoy (well 9, I didn't have to read my own...), and it was easy to enjoy them one at a time. Not overwhelming at all. In fact it was inspiring and made me think. Oddly, it made me think about logistics and habits a fair amount.

A Few Things I noticed:
  • I love that half-second moment where you see a text name of the picture before the image appears. It's pretty rare I'd champion waiting for a computer to do something, but that brief insight into peoples minds though their naming conventions is fascinating to me. Is it a name that is the item (Pink Crocs), or a number, or the cameras naming convention (DSC3309), or a stock image (Pencil86). It could be anything, just like a fast-unwrapping of a present it's very quickly revealed. Actually, thinking about it so intently it was sad when there wasn't any name but just the image! *
  • Would I read it in the reader, or click through? I clicked through a few times but in general I read them in the reader. Some are posted by a name other than who I associate them with, which felt a bit odd, especially when it's so clearly written by the blog author. I'm still mulling that one over.
  • The order in which I read them... usually I'm a in-order kind of person, and with this that would make it a top to bottom reading, but today I did that for a bit and then jumped around, and saved on that I was really looking forward to for last (which was Andrea Schroeder sharing Episode 2 of Creative Dream TV and how to handle limiting beliefs, fear, doubt and shame)
  • After I read them, I closed Google Reader. I know new posts will likely come up today, but I can enjoy them tomorrow morning a-fresh instead of darting my eye over to the tab through the day to see if anything is new. They will keep until tomorrow, when I have a nice cuppa tea to enjoy them with.
*for the record, the naming convention I like3 to use is date taken and then a description (ie 2012.08.16 Computer) so that I can easily sort them chronologically in explorer. I know it's not the best SEO way, but that's not my focus. I do it so I can sort and find stuff on my computer. If you want to give that way a try, remember you have to have a word after, otherwise it cuts off the last number for some reason which is really weird.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Starting A-Fresh, Maybe ;)



I've not blogged here actively in quite a while (3 years or so - odd how so many things I'm coming back to or connect with are from 3 years ago), and before I jump in to say I'm going to commit to it again I think I'll be tentative and go with I'm going to start reading blogs again.

Yesterday, I did a HUGE clean up of my Google Reader, the majority of them aren't active or had the 'I'm coming back...' message and then... nothing. It happens. I know it happens.

After I culled through most of them (and many I'm sorry to see aren't writing anymore, or at least not at their old addy and with no (active) forwarding address), I added new feeds to my Google Reader. That was fun and exciting to cultivate a new list. I hope when I look at it tomorrow it's still exciting over crazy-overwhelming with all the new content to enjoy.

So, I'm back to reading. Maybe I'll get back to writing too. Or posting pictures. Or drawings. Or who knows what. We'll see. Hopefully!

And in true blog fashion, I will leave you with a cute cat picture:


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Ever feel like you get contradictory messages?



I totally am feeling like I'm receiving this message right now.